It's a Wonderful Intent
by scarletbegonia74
Summary: It's Christmas, Goren is depressed, again. A guardian angel might set him straight. Loosely based on It's a Wonderful Life.
1. Chapter 1

_Well, being that it's Christmas, I thought I'd write a holiday themed G/E tome. The story is my own. The characters aren't mine. Big plot boosting thanks to Frank Capra and Philip Van Doren Stern, with a dash of Glenn Gordon Caron._

_Our boy Goren is going to get a little schooling from his guardian angel, allowing him to gain insight into how valuable his life and influence is. Maybe he'll gain a little insight into his feelings for Eames too… We shall see. Definitely a bit A/U, but it is Christmas._

**4pm-Christmas Eve-1PP**

"Didn't you tell Marissa to meet you in the park by midnight?" Goren barked at the scruffy faced man sitting before him in interrogation.

"No…." The man, who's name was Richard Stevens, stayed ever so calm and even managed a smile toward the lumbering detective, who was quickly losing his cool.

Bobby could feel his blood pressure rising, his heart was pounding in his ears. This guy… This Richard Stevens, was a certified monster. One of the worst kind. He was a child killer. And Goren and Eames knew it, but they were having a hell of a time getting him to crack.

"You used your Facebook as a ploy to meet these girls Richard." Eames chimed in. "We all know there's no way you'd ever get to them without it." Eames held up a picture of Stevens' Facebook page. "What, were you maybe twenty here?"

Stevens just laughed.

It was very probable that he was laughing while he killed Marissa Warren too. She was only sixteen, the daughter of a high ranking firefighter, lured by the promise of a fake boyfriend through her Facebook. All she managed to find was the business end of a machete in the bushes of Bryant Park.

Goren had a feeling there were others. He had a slew of unidentifieds under his pile of files. Pictures of mutilated young females that he was jonesing to dangle in front of the monster's face, hoping for a bite.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the route this particular interrogation was taking. Stevens managed to stay calm and deflect everything Goren and Eames threw at him.

And Goren….. Well today, he was another story entirely. Today was the day before Christmas, a holiday that was never high on the Bobby Goren list of enjoyable moments. But this year, another full year after the demise of his entire family.

_Ha! Family! What family? _

Let's just say he wasn't working at his finest today.

"Damn it!" Bobby slammed his fist down on the table in a very un-Goren-like fashion. "Tell us how you managed to do it Richard? Tell us how why you like to kill little girls?"

Alex jumped, not expecting the fist slam. She had to admit she was on edge around Bobby again lately. He'd been doing better for awhile. They'd been doing better for awhile, but as Christmas started to approach, she could feel the subtle red flags appearing.

He wasn't sleeping.

He wasn't talking.

He was shutting her out.

_Here we go again…_

Alex tried to shift her thoughts back to the task at hand in time to hear Stevens' response.

Oh so quietly he murmured in an almost seductive whisper, gazing deep into Bobby's eyes.

"Let's be real Detective Goren, you are so obviously not getting any ass. Even your partner won't give it up to you, I imagine. Tell me honestly…. You don't watch them? Those succulent teenaged bodies…. You know you would too…. First chance you got, if you wouldn't get caught."

It may have felt like an eternity but it only took Bobby about a milli-second to trounce Stevens, hands around the monster's throat. A gruff "God damn you!" escaping from his lips in the process. Stevens went limp and Eames reached for her piece. Before she could even position herself to get a round off, a slew of uniforms appeared tackling Goren and Stevens. Whisking the child killer away, while Bobby was left slumped on the floor and Alex was left confused, scared and a bit off kilter. Definitely a destination Bobby Goren had taken her before.

It only took Alex ten seconds to get pissed.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" She loomed over Bobby, offering an arm to help him up off the floor. She saw the look of blank confusion on his face and changed her tone a bit.

"Bobby, are you okay?"

He gazed up at her. Nothing… His expression revealed nothing. Bobby was surfing his abyss again, Alex surmised. She wasn't sure she was up to playing lifeguard this time.

Just then Ross appeared.

"Goren! Eames! My office, NOW!"

Alex's first instinct was to stomp off, away from Goren, and forward to the inevitable verbal shakedown to come. But she made the mistake of looking back down at him again. His expression changed from blank to remorse. Alex's heart took a dip toward her tummy. She grabbed his arm without permission, knowing full well there was no way she could lift him on her own. She did it to guide, rather than lift.

She kept her grip on his arm the whole way to Ross' office.

Like a good lifeguard.

**5:02pm-Christmas Eve-1PP**

"Close the door Eames." Ross was beyond pissed. He stalked back and forth behind his desk shaking his head.

"Look, I know this isn't the greatest time of the year for you Detective." Ross addressed Goren. "I see the signs again. You're not sleeping, not taking care of yourself… I really don't want to have to do this again."

Bobby started shaking his head, cradling the back of his neck with his hand and looking down.

"With all due respect Captain." Alex chimed in. "Stevens knows what buttons to push and we have to push back…"

"Detective Eames!" Ross cut her off. "You're not saving him this time." Ross looked Alex dead in the eye, then moved his gaze to Bobby.

"Detective Goren, go home. Take the holiday off. Call Olivet, get back on track with your counseling sessions again."

Bobby turned and started toward the exit of Ross' office before he would act out and say or do anything irrational. Before he could leave, Alex plastered herself against the door. She knew damn well the worst thing that could happen, was leaving Bobby unoccupied over the holiday.

"Captain" Alex tried again. "Captain, we're done with Stevens tonight. We'll take a break, review some surveillance tapes from the park. We'll start fresh tomorrow. It'll be fine…."

YOU, Detective Eames, will review the tapes tonight. Detective Goren, YOU will go home and sleep and call Olivet in the morning. That's it."

Ross wasn't budging. Bobby looked at the wall next to Alex like he was going to tear it apart. She figured that was her cue to step aside, and she did, leaving Bobby to barrel through the doorway. Alex felt herself caving into the floor.

On lead legs, she followed him.

_Always…_

"Bobby, get some rest. I'll talk to the Captain tomorrow and…"

Goren put his palm up to Alex's face. "Stop. Just stop it Alex. You heard Ross, you can't save me, no one can."

"I'm not trying to save you!" Alex squealed a little louder than she would have liked. She could feel various eyes around the room fixing on the two of them.

"I'm just trying to help." She whispered. "Come back tonight after Ross leaves, if you can't sleep, I'll be here all night reviewing tapes. I'll make Ross understand, trust me."

Alex pleaded with Bobby as he dropped his shield and gun on his desk and began to head for the elevators. Walking backwards, Alex stuck by his side as he tried to make his escape.

"Alex… Review the tapes and then get out of here. You _have_ a family. Be with them. Enjoy them.."

"You're my family too Bobby!" She body blocked him, all five feet five inches of her, from the elevator.

_This is familiar._

"I'm not your family Eames." He tried to control his tone. He didn't want to hurt her. He was always hurting her and it was the last thing he ever wanted.

"I mean I appreciate the gesture, but I'm no one's family. I'm not even really sure why I'm here anymore. Ross is right you know. I should go home. I have a lot of things to think about."

Alex held her ground in front of him, but felt her strength dissolving. Maybe this is the end, she thought and could feel tears welling in her eyes. Tears she didn't want to him to see. Tears he certainly didn't deserve. Alex's anger was mounting in response to fighting back her sadness.

"Fine! You wanna go… GO! I've had it!" Alex was yelling now, no mistaking it. The audience at 1 PP was getting their money's worth today.

Goren looked at the floor praying that Alex would just move away from the elevator. He could dodge to the other set of doors or head to the stairs, but Eames fury, rendered him paralyzed.

"I've had it with this… With you!" She continued her tirade. "Nine years… nine fucking years.. You wanna end it all, you don't wanna be here anymore, then go. You're right, Ross is right, I can't save you. I can't save you, because you don't want to be saved!" Alex was so close to Bobby right now their bodies were touching. She was backing him into a corner figuratively and literally.

There wasn't much more she could say. The looks on both of their faces spoke volumes. Alex felt her body getting weak and stepped out of Bobby's way to brace herself against the wall. Bobby took his opportunity for escape sliding through the doors of the elevator. She turned to face him one last time. The look of defeat on her face, broke what was left of Goren's heart into a million pieces.

"I never meant for this…. For you… for us.." Bobby couldn't find the strength to finish his thoughts.

"You never _mean _to Bobby… " Alex shook her head and looked down as the doors shut and Bobby Goren began his Christmas holiday.

_**I know this may seem a little lame folks, but I have a plan here and this will go places eventually.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I forgot to mention in Chapter one, that this takes place in the current day. Meaning Christmas after season 8. This is all about Christmas folks, no references to endings, Jeff Goldblum, dead Eames or Rosses. Bear with me folks, I normally don't write supernatural stuff.**_

**6:32pm-Christmas Eve**

The closest bar to 1PP is always brimming with cops. So Robert Goren walks the extra five blocks to avoid such a scene. Every step he takes is littered with memories. Places in time where he and Eames would be walking the same beat. Talking about cases and sometimes talking about life. His stomach clenches thinking of his last sighting of Alex. The lines of her face creased with frustration and saddest of all, defeat.

He knows this _must _be the last time.

The last time for them, as partners, as friends. He's been selfish long enough. His resignation will be on Ross' desk the morning of the 26th. It was time to free Alexandra Eames once and for all. The cases, would continue to be solved. Alex was the real genius anyway, she'd do just fine.

Bobby found his way to a small bar on the corner of two streets that connected in a rather seedy part of town. One could get more than just a drink here. Prostitutes languished in dark alleys. Meth and coke dealers brazenly dealt from their stoops.

All Bobby wanted was a scotch, or two, or twenty. Enough to kill the pain and maybe himself too.

Yes, the thought was now crossing Bobby Goren's mind. Without Eames, without a job and certainly without a family….

_What family?_

What the hell did he have to live for anyway?

Taking his place at the bar, Goren ordered a straight scotch and began to thumb through his mental rolodex for reasons to live.

He was having trouble finding any.

Three scotches later, still nothing. But boy howdy, did it ease the pain, at least a little.

Sometimes he wished, he wondered. What would his life be like if he'd never become a cop. If he'd never ended up in Major Case.

As Bobby went about trying to order a forth scotch, a man scooted over from across the bar and sat down next to him. At first Bobby was worried it was another cop, here to give him a hard time. But as Goren scanned the man's face, a very pleasant, non-threatening face, relaxed, with a caring look.. Bobby decided he couldn't be a cop.

"Bobby Goren?" The man asked him. Now Bobby was getting freaked out again, the alcohol dulling the anxiety only a little.

"Yeah…"

Hi, I'm Albert. You probably don't know me, but I know you very well. You asked for me today, just now I mean…"

"Huh?" Bobby was drunk, but not that drunk. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You asked for me, a few moments ago." Albert smiled. "Not out loud I mean…." He chuckled a little. "In your mind."

Bobby was getting a tad frightened. He wasn't sure if this guy was a cop, or an ex-suspect, or worse yet an ex-con. Regardless he didn't want any trouble.

"Look… I don't know who you are, but I didn't ask for you, in my mind or anywhere else. I don't want any trouble." Bobby started to get up from his barstool, the room felt like it was moving but he couldn't.

"I'm not here to cause you trouble Bobby, I'm here to grant your request."

Try as he might to walk away fast, the scotch put weights on the lumbering detectives legs.

"What request?" Bobby asked and immediately regretted the question.

"You wanted to know what life would be like if you never ended up as a cop, If you never ended up at 1PP, in major case."

"Whoa… What the fuck!?! " Goren now thought he was hallucinating.

"Hey…" Albert countered. "No need for obscenities. You ask. I answer. That's my job you know."

Something about the way Albert spoke and carried himself was slowly putting Goren at ease. He slid back down onto the barstool.

"What do you mean?"

"Bobby, I'm your guardian angel."

Now Goren really figured he was three sheets to the wind.

He laughed, until he snorted. "You're my guardian angel?"

It was a question, not an affirmation.

"Yes Bobby." Albert was very matter of fact and it continued to strangely put Bobby at ease.

"I _am _your guardian angel. I'm here to show you what life would be like without the constraints of being a cop."

Bobby just stared blankly at Albert.

"You ready to go?" He stood along side Bobby's stool and gestured with both hands toward the door.

What the hell do I have to lose at this point, Bobby thought.

"Sure." And with that Albert led Bobby Goren out the door of the seedy bar.

_**Fear not, it will get more interesting and a little freaky. This was more of a connector chapter.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks to those who read and reviewed. I have ideas, but still not 100% sure where this may go. _

_I don't own them and it's gonna get weird._

Bobby felt like the walk from the bar back to 1PP took about a quarter of the time it should have. Things seemed a little hazy. Bobby felt like he was struggling with the concept of time.

Maybe it was the scotch.

Maybe not.

"Okay… Albert, if I'm no longer a cop, why are we here?"

"Well Bobby, you wanted to see what things were like, didn't you? This place, played an extensive part in your life and it's best if you see what goes on here, now that you are no longer…." Albert paused. "Or should I say, were never a part of its goings on."

Bobby nodded in confusion and disbelief as they boarded the elevator and headed upward.

The place didn't seem as subdued as he expected it to be on Christmas Eve. It seemed earlier in the day than he felt it should be. The scotch or something was really screwing with his personal concept of time.

Goren heard the familiar ding and watched the elevator doors open. He remained frozen in place as Albert descended.

When Albert realized he was heading out alone, he turned back to Bobby.

"What's wrong? You should come with me Bobby."

"I'm not going back in there. I just made a scene and my partner…."

Albert cut him off.

"Your partner isn't here Bobby. This isn't the place you left a few hours ago. Besides, no one can see us.

"What!" Bobby squeaked. "Okay, now I've heard it all… That's it I'm going home!"

Bobby pressed the ground floor button, repeatedly.

Nothing

He started pressing all of the buttons on the elevator.

Nothing

Albert just watched, a dull smile on his face, arms crossed.

"Bobby would you stop pressing buttons and just come with me?"

He still wouldn't move from the elevator.

"Bobby….." Albert tried again. No one can see us. Look around."

He did just that, and he noticed no one was looking his way. Even the people walking close by weren't giving him a customary glance.

"Let's go Bobby, time's a wasting."

Time…..

Bobby did as he was told. Following Albert to an interrogation room.

Outside the mirror, he heard a familiar voice.

"Oh Mister Stevens, please tell me how it was for you to kill those beautiful little girls. Don't hold back any details, I want to hear everything."

Bobby felt his blood run cold as he gazed the mirror. Hearing the limey purr of Nicole Wallace seductively whispering for details from a ruthless child killer. He saw the beautiful but deadly blonde stalking the suspect, his suspect.

"What the hell is this?"

Albert put a hand on Goren's shoulder.

"Don't worry, she's on the good guys side now."

"What! What do you mean?!?"

"Well Bobby, she's you."

Bobby's mouth fell open, his face ashen.

"With you not following the destiny of being a cop, other folks destinies were altered as well. That's just the way this whole thing works."

"But that's Nicole Wallace, one of the most ruthless and dangerous…"

"And intelligent and cerebral people you knew." Albert interjected. "And in this destiny, she managed, or at least it appears, that she managed to use her powers for good.

Albert smiled and Bobby felt chilled.

"She could have gone either way too you know."

Bobby gazed the mirror again, just in time to see Stevens break down and confess his sins to Nicole, tears welling in the monster's eyes as he rocked back and forth in his chair.

Bobby looked back at Albert, who was also taking in the scene.

"She's good Bobby, damn good."

The uniforms came in and swept Stevens away to his cell.

Bobby turned back to Albert.

"Okay…..Okay, I can live with this! I can live with the fact that there is one less serial killer in the world and that Nicole is using her brain for the greater good." Bobby nodded as if to affirm his point.

Albert chuckled a little. "This doesn't mean there is one less serial killer in the world, it just means she's not one of them."

They both turned back in time to see Nicole and Captain Ross conferring. Just then, when the two were sure no one was looking Ross placed a kiss on Nicole's cheek. Bobby felt a little like vomiting.

"Yeah, that's a no no." Albert lamented. "But in this world, as in the last, Nicole can't seem to keep her hands to herself. And Detective Ross, well he can't seem to either."

"Detective Ross?"

"Yes Bobby, Ross isn't a Captain. Not really Captain material in this destiny. What you see here is part of the reason why. The man caters to his whims a little too much."

The irony of such an observation is not lost on Bobby as he continues to watch Nicole and Ross kiss and grope.

"Wait!" Bobby exclaims like he just got the best idea ever. "If Ross isn't Captain, then it must be Eames. Yes that's it! It has to be Eames!"

With that Bobby starts to head out of interrogation, aiming for the Captain's office.

"I knew she was better off…"

"Whoa Bobby, slow down!" Albert placed himself in front of the door.

Damn he was fast, Bobby thought. Not a nano-second before, he was across the room.

Stupid scotch…

"Bobby, Alex isn't the Captain. The Captain is someone you don't even know. No one from your former destiny."

Bobby felt his shoulders slump and a new depth of sadness was threatening to take over. He found himself missing Alex profoundly. It was like a part of him had been cut out.

"Bobby." Albert interrupted his thoughts. "We need to stay with the task at hand."

"Let's go."

Bobby solemnly followed Albert out of 1PP.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for the reviews my shippified friends. Keep in mind this is all supernatural and stuff. It's like an acid flashback I need to purge… or something of that nature. _

"Where are we going now?"

Bobby was almost whining to his appointed guardian angel.

"I'm not sure I need to see much more."

"Well Bobby, you asked for this. You asked for knowledge and I'm under orders to dispense it."

"Under orders?" Bobby snorted.

"You think we guardian angels don't have a boss to answer to?" Albert chuckled.

He stopped walking for a second, pointing to a pair of double doors adorned in neon.

"Here we are!"

Bobby stopped and read the neon lettering out loud.

"The Fox Den? Why would you bring me to a place like this?"

"Well Bobby, we certainly couldn't take this trip without checking in on the destiny of the most beloved person in your life, could we?"

Albert and Bobby watched as seedy looking patrons moved in and out the doors.

"Eames!" Bobby blurted. "Eames is a stripper!?!"

"No Bobby, not quite. You seem to forget she used to worked vice. Well in this current world, it became her permanent vocation."

Bobby felt his stomach flip. Alex had told him a multitude of times, she hated vice. It was degrading for someone with her personality. She didn't mind the point of the work, it was the things she had to do to get the perp, that made her nauseous.

"Alex is somewhere around here." Albert surmised as he and Bobby slid through the doors, unnoticed. Women in G-strings, in various states of undress gyrated around the room.

"This place has a problem with prostitution, so they put Alex and another female cop in here to shake the place down."

"C'mon." Albert beckoned, leading Bobby to a private room near the back of the establishment. Inside, men were seated in chairs around the walls. Women were giving lap dances and other more intimate gifts to their customers. Bobby nervously scanned the room. He knew he couldn't be seen, but he was scared about what he, himself might get a look at. Just then a familiar head of blond hair caught his eye.

It was Alex, his Eames, straddling some Japanese tourist. She was clad in only a bra and g-string. Now Bobby was the one who was nauseous. Conflicting thoughts of lust, swirled and wrestled with thoughts of disgust and melancholy for what could have been.

What should have been.

Bobby was shaken from his thoughts by an abrupt stop to all the amplified sexual activity surrounding him. Alex and another woman jumped to the center of the room, while a few of the male patrons drew guns and waved badges.

Shakedown complete.

Albert and Bobby stood by taking in the arrests and chaos. Bobby couldn't take his eyes off Alex. After the bust she immediately pulled on a sweatshirt and sweatpants. A protective sense of relief flooded Bobby. He certainly didn't like seeing anyone covet his Eames.

"She hated vice…." Bobby whispered and nodded toward Albert. "Why?"

Well Bobby, that question might be best answered if we follow Alex to her home after work."

That time thing again….

Before Bobby could contemplate it, the raid was over, Alex was gone, and he and Albert were outside walking the streets again.

They stopped in front of a modest brownstone. It was still evening and the house looked cozy and well lit.

"Welcome to the Mulrooneys, Bobby!"

"Huh?" Bobby was pretty sure he misheard Albert. "Mulrooney….what?"

"The Mulrooneys… Mr. And Mrs. Mulrooney live here."

Now Bobby was sure he was going to throw up and it had nothing to do with the scotch.

"Kevin Mulrooney?" Bobby asked in a low whisper.

"Yep!" Albert chirped.

"Kevin and Alex."

Bobby's head started to swirl. "Alex married Mulrooney? When the hell did that happen? _How_ the hell did that happen?"

"Two words Bobby_, Boz Burnham_"

"That case?!? What!!" Bobby started rubbing the back of his head. "Did they end up sleeping together? Is that how this happened?"

"Bobby Bobby Bobby…." Albert shook his head. "I had a feeling you wouldn't do well with this particular insight."

Like a robot, lapsing into familiar routine, Bobby quickly straightened out his posture and tried to feign calm. Even though Albert was his guardian angel, with endless insight into the Goren psyche, it was old hat for Bobby to reel in his deep seated feelings for Alexandra Eames.

"No… No, I'm fine with this." Bobby exclaimed. "Alex…. Well…. I guess she always wanted a family… I mean…"

As Albert started to descend upon the entrance to the brownstone, Bobby grabbed his shoulder.

"Maybe we shouldn't…. I mean as long as Mulrooney treats her right, what do I need to see here?"

Albert gives Bobby an apprehensive, but knowing look.

"You asked Bobby, and I'm answering. Despite your best efforts to hide these feelings, I know you love her. You have for a long time. Your destinies were meant to be intertwined.

"Well, if we're meant to be together…." Bobby paused and corrected himself. "I mean _work_ together. It'll eventually happen, right?"

"Not necessarily Bobby, you may know each other, but it won't be in the same capacity that it would have been, had you pursued being a cop."

Bobby nodded, his face set in what appeared to be a permanent frown.

"C'mon Bobby, we have some visiting to do… With the Mulrooneys."

Bobby followed is angel, ever so reluctantly into the brownstone.


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't own…_

_Gonna get trippier…_

There was very obvious shouting and arguing going on inside the brownstone. Bobby could hear it as soon as they entered the living room. He heard Alex. She had a tone to her voice that he only heard a few times. Moments after his secret undercover operation was uncovered, came to mind.

Except this time, it was more frantic. Her words louder and etched with a stress that could only come from being trapped in the confines of an unhappy marriage.

"WHAT the HELL DO YOU MEAN, wait another year!?!" Alex wailed. "I'M NOT getting any younger!"

"LOOK Alex! I'm just not ready to commit to that… That level of…."

"NO KEVIN, YOU were NEVER ready to commit to THIS." Alex gestured around the room to illustrate her point.

"You never had any intention of having a family with me, did you?" Her voice dropped to a tear soaked whisper.

"You're right Alex… Maybe you're right." Kevin was whispering too now.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"Why…." Alex choked back her sobs.

Kevin just shook his head and marched upstairs. Hiding from Alex and the truth.

Bobby backed away from the scene. He felt a level of disgust unmatched by any he ever experienced.

"Why is he doing this to her?" He pleaded with Albert.

"Bobby, Alex worked in homicide, in major case, very briefly. She worked on the Boz Burnham case right after Joe died. Even in this destiny, she still met Mulrooney and since you weren't present to avert her destiny. She ended up falling in love, or at least what she thought was love, with him."

"But he's such an….. An asshole." Bobby couldn't take his eyes off of Alex, still trembling and sobbing against the kitchen counter.

"Yes Bobby that part of him is the same. But when Alex found that letter, the Jenny Burnham letter, and she was accused of planting it."

"Yeah the case fell through and Mulrooney's career went down the toilet.." Bobby interrupted.

"Yes, well, he dragged Alex down with him. She lost all hope of being a major case detective and she resigned. Of course Mulrooney had a hand in convincing her to do so. He's still manipulative too. And still, unbeknownst to Alex, an active cross dresser. Hence his hesitation to bear children with her"

"Oh Alex….Why?" Bobby walked over to Eames, who was now drying her tears with a kitchen towel. He wanted nothing more than to sweep her up in his arms and carry her away from Mulrooney and her broken dreams.

"She can't hear you Bobby."

Bobby glared at his guardian angel. Frustrated he started to pace.

"Well maybe the asshole will change his mind. Or maybe Eames will divorce him and find someone who loves and respects her like she deserves. This HAS to get better for her!"

Bobby stopped pacing and looked at Albert with a fury.

"IT does get better for her. Doesn't it?"

"Well yes and no."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Bobby threw his arms in the air.

"It means….. Bobby, that she has some successes, but it won't be this particular thing. This thing that she feels she wants and needs right now. In this path, it's just not meant to be for her. It's not her destiny."

"Then what happens to her?" Bobby whimpers.

* * *

They were back on the street, and this time Robert Goren was absolutely sure they didn't walk there.

It was like they simply materialized.

"Our last stop Bobby."

"Where are we?"

"In the present." Albert clapped his hands together and looked around the dark alley they were standing in.

"This is your life Robert Goren. Your present. The one you asked for."

"I didn't ask for this." Bobby felt his pulse quicken. He was getting scared. A claustrophobic, closed in, Tates, kind of scared.

"You did. You asked what life would be like. You were frustrated Bobby, sick of being a cop and just a cop. With no family and friends. You felt like you were circling the drain. You asked and I answered, it's as simple as that."

"I…I didn't ask…" Bobby squealed.

Just then he spotted Eames sashaying down the street, toward the alley. Adorned in short skirt and tight low cut tank top, Bobby assumed she was working vice again.

"Time is running out Bobby. It's the moment for your past incarnation to let go and allow this new one to take over. The _present_ day Bobby Goren."

Bobby glanced around looking for an escape, something, anything, to stop this madness. It was then the image of a lumbering and large dark figure emerging from the alley, caught his eye.

That figure was him.

Bobby watched as a scruffier and darker version of himself waited in the shadows for Eames to approach.

"No….." Was all Bobby could muster. His eyes pleading with Albert.

"I gotta go Bobby. It's all you now. And _you _are a serial killer, who's main victim preference, are prostitutes."

Bobby felt like he was falling a million miles a minute. He couldn't even find the words.

Albert took pity on him and touched his face.

"You always knew you could have gone either way."

Bobby felt tears cascading down his face.

"Goodbye Robert. Your destiny is fulfilled."

As Albert dissolved into thin air, so did any hopes or dreams that Robert O. Goren the detective ever had.

He suddenly felt himself getting colder.

He suddenly felt himself getting hungry.

Hungry for blood. Right now the only color he saw was red. All good instincts and pure light gone.

Robert Goren, the serial killer was about to pounce on his next victim. A cute blonde, who was no more than a few yards away.

And she couldn't see him.

And that thought made him very excited, aroused even.

Very aroused.

With a swoop, fueled by red hued blood lust, he grabbed the blonde by the neck. At first he entertained snapping it like a twig, but then he changed his mind.

He wanted this one alive while he performed his rituals.

Something seemed a little different about this one. He wasn't sure if it was the smell of her or her aura.

Something was so….

Familiar.

And not right.

Suddenly this felt not right to him.

Not right to Bobby,

The man responsible for slicing and dicing about twenty prostitutes in the greater metropolitan area over the past ten years.

And this feeling overwhelmed him so…

So much that he fucked up and let one of the blonde's arm's go.

That's when Alexandra Eames reached for her piece, tucked under her skirt.

And blew a hole through Robert Goren's chest.


	6. Chapter 6

_Don't worry kids, it's going to get Christmassy again in here real soon. I promise!_

The red hued bloodlust suddenly turned a cool midnight blue. And despite the burning sensation every time Bobby took a breath, he felt the most peaceful he ever had in his life.

And she was so beautiful…

The blonde with the gun that was now leveled inches above his head.

He wished she would move it a little. Because when he died and he knew it was only minutes now. She was the last thing he wanted to see.

She was a goddess.

He took one of his last moments to mourn the fact that they didn't get more time together.

So strange that his thoughts about their time turned to placid happy moments a couple would share and not rape and torture.

Maybe it was the blood loss and lack of oxygen.

Maybe it was something else entirely.

Sirens wailed in the background. Funny thing though, the closer the lights got the quieter the sirens seemed to be.

Bobby figured that meant death was mere seconds away.

And he was right, because now the light was fading and so was his vision of the goddess who saved him.

Who put him out of his misery.

His savior.

Merry Christmas….

The sound of someone wishing yuletide happiness suddenly got louder

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

It was so loud it felt like it was echoing off of Bobby's skull.

"Hey… you wake up."

Bobby heard an unfamiliar voice among the Yuletide din.

_Wake up? I'm dead! How can I wake up?_

"Hey Mister." A hand gently shook Bobby's shoulder.

"It's midnight, it's Christmas."

Bobby Goren raised his head and looked around through blurred vision.

He was no longer in the alleyway, with a slug in his chest, bleeding out.

He was in a seedy bar, butt planted firmly on a barstool. A semi-moist napkin stuck to his cheek and people wishing merry tidings, hooting and hollering around him.

"What happened?"

The bartender snickered. "Well buddy, you pounded four rounds of scotch and took a nose dive into the pretzel sticks. Been sleepin' like a baby for a few hours now."

The bartender smiled and looked Bobby in the eye. "You looked so miserable when you came in here. When you fell asleep, I didn't have the heart to wake ya. But it's midnight now, it's Christmas… I thought you should know."

"It's Christmas?"

"Every year at this time." The bartender answered. "You sure I can't call you a cab?"

Bobby rose off the stool, shaking the sleep from his weary body.

"No…. No, I'm good…. I'm actually really good."

"Musta been some dream…"

"What do you mean?" Bobby inquired as he pulled his coat closed.

"Well buddy, I don't know who Alex is, but whoever the dude is, he must really be someone important to you. Cause you were yelling that name every so often… Alex! Alex!."

The bartender chuckled.

"Good thing though, that's how I knew you were still alive."

Bobby touched himself. Ran his hands over chest. No holes were present.

"I _am_ still alive!"

The bartender gave Bobby an odd look.

"No doubt buddy… Um… You sure I can't call you that cab?"

"No" Bobby smiled, for the first time in a long time. "I don't have far to walk."

Bobby didn't really walk, he ran the five blocks back to 1PP. He knew it was unlikely, but just maybe, Alex would still be there viewing surveillance footage in the Stevens case.

1PP was a ghost town 12am Christmas Day. Only skeleton crew remained to hold down the fort. As Bobby rode the elevator, voices from earlier in the day played out in his head.

"_Nine years…. Nine fucking years and you wanna end it all?"_

"_I can't save you because you don't want to be saved!"_

"_You're my family too Bobby…"_

Bobby prayed she'd be there.

Ding!

Major Case was a virtual ghost town too. Christmas lights were about the only thing illuminating the main room.

The flicker of a television monitor caught Bobby's eye in one of the back offices. He crept over and peered through the blinds.

There she was.

His Eames.

His beautiful and resourceful and amazing Eames.

No vice uniform of g-strings and short skirts.

No cross dressing, jack ass husband.

Just this lovely creature, asleep at the desk.

Her appearance made more angelic because she was bathed in the blue light of the monitor.

Bobby looked around to make sure he had no audience and he entered quietly. He didn't want to wake her abruptly. Sliding into the chair next to her, he savored her presence. Taking in every part of her that he could visualize. Bobby couldn't help but stroke her hair.

"Beautiful Alex…. You've already saved me." Bobby whispered, continuing to stroke her hair.

"…. Just never wanted to burden you."

"You're not a burden Bobby."

_Shit!_

"Alex!" Bobby pulled his hand away from her head like it was a hot burner on a stove. " I thought you were asleep."

"I was." Alex lifted her head and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, then faced him, closely.

"I woke up awhile ago. Didn't feel like going home, so I was trying to crash here. I was almost asleep when I heard the elevator. I prayed it was you." Alex smiled.

She reached across and touched his face.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you today. I didn't mean too…. You didn't deserve my tirade. I was just scared you'd go away again. You don't need me to save you Bobby…"

The memory of Alex Mulrooney, vice cop, was still so fresh in his skull. Bobby became overwhelmed. He reached out and grabbed Alex into his strong embrace. She lifted off her chair with a start and collapsed into Bobby's eager arms. His hands running up her spine and caressing the back of her head.

Alex felt the change in course Bobby's hands were taking. The pressure he applied to the back of her head, would lead one to believe he was seeking a kiss. Fearful for crossing a line that could send them both reeling, Alex kept her head buried in his shoulder.

"Alex…. I missed you" Bobby muttered, continuing his squeeze on her.

"Missed me? You were only gone a couple of hours." Alex removed her head from Bobby's shoulder to give him a confused look.

She felt his breath and took the time to study his mouth.

It was such a sensuous mouth. And no matter how much age and stress consumed him, Bobby still had a beauty about him that Alex couldn't really put into words.

She moved her gaze from his mouth to his eyes.

Alex swallowed hard.

Bobby was surveying her with unrepentant desire. A look that pleaded for her to accommodate his thoughts. To journey with him in the quest for their mutual release.

"You were only gone a couple of hours… " Alex repeated, this time in a low whisper as she held Bobby's stare. Desperately wrestling with her mind and her heart, as the heat grew between them.

"Alex…." Bobby murmured, his face drawing closer, guiding her head to meet his.

"I won't ever leave you again…."

Alex could feel his breath on her mouth, they couldn't be any closer without touching lips.

" Bobby…."

Suddenly Alex retracted her advance, feeling the need to abort the mission at hand.

"We shouldn't." She whispered, rubbing her face with her hands. Perhaps trying to rub her feelings away.

Bobby sat back and took her in again. His eyes leaving desperate trails of longing up and down her body.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't mean to…. Well…. to come on so strong… I've … Well, it's that I've had some time to think and…."

Bobby was struggling, fearful that he scared Eames away with his over zealous glee at their reunion.

"I'm just glad we're okay." He said in an exhale.

"Me too." Alex agreed, hugging herself, trying to keep warm. "By the way, Merry Christmas." She added, pointing at the clock.

"Merry Christmas." Bobby nodded.

"I'm beat Bobby, I need some sleep. You want to come home with me? Celebrate Christmas with me? I'd really like it if you would."

"Tonight!?" Bobby couldn't hide the shock and awe from his voice.

"Today." Alex corrected. "It is Christmas after all." She tried to put forth her most comforting smile.

"I'd like that." Bobby returned her smile.

"I'd like that a lot."

**_My apologies to those who wanted a longer and more fantasy filled tome. This was the gist of my idea. Now all that's left to resolve is some unresolved early XMAS morning sexual tension. Keep those reviews coming and to all my other fellow G/E angst authors out there. Keep up the great work!_**


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